Lessons I Stumbled Upon In College

Four years. College life has finally come to an end. I don't know yet if I will miss college life but these four years would definitely make a vital chapter in my life's ledger for everything it taught me.

Here's some of what I learnt:

1. When I entered college, I wondered how everyone would be graded. The reason being, my classmates were state rank holders, district rank holders, centum getters and school toppers. And there were very few like me who belonged to the elite gang of not falling into any of these categories and yet, managed to find a place in this college. ;) I thought that everybody who joined this college had big dreams of becoming great engineers. Exceptions are always there. But during these four years, I've learnt how aspiring doctors have ended up in my college because they missed a medical seat, how aspiring artists and writers ended up here because their parents wouldn't let them take up another course and there were others like me who took up the course because we didn't know what we wanted to do with life! As we all graduate, I realize that not all of us came out with GPAs like the rest and not all of us would make great engineers. Most of us are engineers today because we can, and not because we want to. But one thing is for sure. Each one of us had that one unique quality which defined us. Some were specialized in their smile, some in their walks while some in their talks. Some knew how to talk to computers while there were others who knew how to talk to people. Some would make great cooks while a few knew to cook up great stories.

I learnt that nobody can beat me in being me. Identifying my calling and acting upon it should be my priority.(Ephesians 4:1) By failing to realize my talent and my area of specialization, I will be depriving this world of a gift(Like Jeff Goins says) and I wouldn't want to do that. Neither should you.

2. At the end of sem1, when we got our results, a few of my friends had a shocker. They had just got an arrear. And I told you how they were all centum holders and school toppers. I still don't know how I would have reacted if I had got an arrear. But in the language that administrations best understand or in other words, call it re-evaluation, they did clear that paper. They all came in with big dreams. Forget big dreams, they definitely wouldn't have planned an arrear for their first semester amidst all the other adventurous activities! Some of them managed to get out of their shell, shake off that bad day and make it big at the end of four years while the others were satisfied with their life in the cocoon and continued to believe that they were average students.

I learnt that most often, life just does not go the way we plan it. In fact, it loves to throw in those thrills and staring down the valley experiences once in a while. The best we can do is preparing for the worst and keep moving forward when things fall apart.

3. I usually am never early to college but there are these rare occasions when I end up being super early to college. Like, entering college at 8.45 for a 10.30 class, thanks to the teacher who decides to cancel an 8.30 class after I leave home! In such cases, I just get into random conversations with my classmates or anybody who is sitting outside our lhc(where we have our lectures) and decide to listen to their stories. Each time, I have been surprised at how that person was just waiting to find a person who would listen to their story. And what has hit me hard is how what I call the problems of my life are nothing compared to what they pour out. I remember a girl telling me about how nobody in her house spoke to her because she hadn't found a job yet through her on-campus placements. There was enough pressure on her to perform because her four years would decide if her parents would let her siblings study further. This was one among the latest tragic stories that I got to listen to.

I learnt that every person around me is carrying his/her own share of problems. Getting upset over petty issues as if the weight of the world is upon me is foolishness. The little I can do is spread some cheer around in this otherwise torn world. Oh! And once in a while, be the listener whom someone can trust.

4. The last few days in college was spent on writing slam books. You write. I write. Everybody write write. Friends wrote for me. I wrote for them. As I read some of the things that my friends had written, I was amazed at how people remembered the smallest of the moments we had shared together. I realized that among all the moments that we've shared with others, we tend to remember those moments that mattered to us more, not those that mattered to the other person more.

I learnt that the world is watching me. I am responsible for my words and actions. Even before I realize, there is a world that has judged me and assigned a price tag for me, be it good or bad. Although, I cannot please everyone I meet, the impression I make on somebody's life does matter. If not to me, to them atleast.

I don't know if I'll remember what I learnt sitting on those dusty desks or those AC labs but I sure want to remember these lessons for life.

The women I see

Lately, I've been traveling to college by train in the ladies compartment. I probably enjoy it more than the bus journeys but for the heat. I get to observe women from various backgrounds everyday and sometimes get into a conversation with some of them. I see working women, college girls, school girls and sometimes women in heavy pattu sarees, maybe going for some function. Each one of them is different.

Every morning, I see future women employees of Microsoft, PayPal, Polaris, Aricent, Deloitte and other big companies around me. And then, there is this girl who has just got an admit from a top university in the U.S. I sometimes wonder if my co-passengers even know that these girls will be paid just as much as the guys are. The world looks at her as the funky girl with cool phones and cooler sense of dressing. I am not going to tell you more about her 'cos we find her quite a lot these days. Everywhere. Everyday. Maybe, she is your friend, your sister or maybe it is you! I leave it at that.

Despite all the talks of how women are competing with men today, trying to be their equal, the feminine in her hasn't left her yet. It never will. There is this woman who gets onto the train, grabs a seat next to the window, dries her hair and tries to make herself look presentable. I didn't like her concept of using the train as her second home until I saw her colleague get into the train at the next station and they both got into a conversation. I got to know that this woman got up at 5 a.m that morning, made coffee, breakfast, lunch, did the household cores, got her kids ready and had managed to catch the 8 o'clock train to work.  She was working because the family could not be run on her husband's income. She had to help without compromising on her duties. She didn't complain, though. I stopped judging people in train after this eye-opener. At the next stop, I saw this woman rush in along with her two kids. She had to drop them at school and then get back. There was only seat available. She made her kids sit and she fed them there. There was this other woman who got in, looking tired and exhausted. She didn't have a place to sit. She sat down near the door and dozed off. I assumed she was tired after all her house work and then was coming to work for her employer. When the man in the first class compartment takes out a newspaper to read, I see a woman here reading her Bible and saying a silent word of prayer. Maybe, she is praying for her children or her parents or her dear friend. Maybe, she is praying for herself, asking God to help her survive the day. Sometimes, the trains are over-crowded. These women cannot afford to miss this train because waiting for the next one meant not being on time to their work place. Coming early was not possible as the household responsibilities could not be given a miss. In the evenings, I see tired women sitting silently having a bag of vegetables that they have bought on the way back, wondering what to cook for dinner.

Maybe, these women are not CEOs or scientists. They are not business-minded, yet they are industrious. They are not chasing their dreams but are chasing the dreams of their families. I am left to wonder, what is this sudden super power that has creeped into this woman of this 21st century that she is able to balance both her worlds. She is still the weaker of the two genders physically, mentally and emotionally. Yet, it is she who carries the next generation in her womb and it is she who takes a day off from her work when her baby girl is sick. 

There are some things which only she can do and the rest, she 'also' can do.

To the woman who is living to chase her dreams, to the woman who puts her family before her dreams, to the woman who is raising up another generation full of dreams, to that woman, we all salute. She is making a difference.

There is, however a dark side to this woman that is heart-breaking. There are an estimated 27 million slaves in the world today, trafficked and beaten—more than any other time in history. Approximately 80 percent of human trafficking victims are women and girls, and up to 50 percent are minors. If you want to do something on this Woman's day, other than updating a "Happy Woman's Day" status on facebook and twitter, stand up against this evil curse called human trafficking where this woman who has the ability to give this world so much has lost much, her voice and her dreams.