24 or 42, I still am a woman...

24 or 42, I still am a woman and that is MY his problem.

I was not taken aback that much by what Damini (the household name that any parent will refrain from naming their baby girl now) underwent a few days back as I was when I heard of the 42-year old woman's incident yesterday. I did not of course think men will never do it again, I just thought they wouldn't resume this early after all the hue and cry demanding stringent punishments and more protection for women were making headlines over the last few days.

I wish when Solomon included Chapter 31 for women in the book of Proverbs, the Queen of Sheba demanded to include Chapter 32 for men. 

If I was asked, I will probably make this Proverbs 32:

"Where can we find a wise man who respects a girl, must;

a man, who the heart of the woman walking on the streets need not doubt but trust?

He realizes that the opposite sex is the weaker sex but not the exploitable sex.

He talks cricket, gadgets and technology with his friends outward,

and also takes time to tell them that 'girls are precious' although it might seem a little awkward.

He carefully guards his thought and action,

just like how he doesn't let his sister touch his priced possession.

He is aware that strength and honor are a girl's clothing,

her charm is deceitful and her outward beauty passing.

The society that he is building is in a mess, to this he's not oblivious,

he is expected to take the first step in the right direction, he knows, it's obvious.

He looks upto Jesus, who loved His mother, protected the prostitute sinner,
accepted the lowly worshiper and cared for the resurrected man's sister.

He realizes that his friend, sister, daughter, wife and mother are in serious danger, 

which is depreciating the value of the example set by the One who came in that manger!"

I remember writing an essay on 'India of my dreams' when in school. I remember how I said people of Kashmir should feel safe. I probably failed to dream of a country where eventually I will feel secure, right in the heart of this nation, in a Delhi or a Bangalore.

I cannot deny that in most cases, we, the female fraternity provoked the male society. We wore provoking clothes. We came out late in the night instead of enjoying a sound sleep at home. We went to the pub, got drunk, got you drunk, danced and made you dance to our tunes. We're sorry. We shouldn't have done that. We shouldn't be doing that. 

But here's my problem. My brother or my dad or my mom or my friends haven't told me that my clothes are provoking. So, I'm assuming that I wear decent clothes. I don't go out late in the night, in fact, I hit the bed by max 10pm on most nights. I don't drink, I've never been to a pub. I don't have boy friends, so I don't go for breakfast, lunch or dinner with just a random guy. And when time comes, considering the current situation, I'll just have a dinner date over Skype. No worries. But last week, I was flying back home for my Christmas holidays. My dad "chose" to book the morning flight for me because traveling to the airport in the night was not supposed to be safe for me. So, instead of starting on a Friday night, I was made to start on a Friday morning which meant I had to take an extra day off from work. Not complaining though! ;) But before leaving, when I called up my relative the previous evening to tell them that I was going home, they didn't allow me to go to the airport in the morning by a cab all alone. They decided to drop me at the airport by 7am. I disturbed them. I then, called up my pastor's family to tell them that I was going home. Uncle asked me to text him once I reached the airport. The next day, aunty told me how she was planning to be on the phone with me while I was in the cab(Had my relatives not dropped me) so that the cabby will know I am continuously in contact with people outside. I disturbed them too.

All I am asking is, what did I do to deserve this insecure society? 
WHO DO I BLAME?

-A confused to-be-24, to-be-42 girl.

P.S.: 1. Proverbs is one of the books of the Bible that has 31 chapters and the 31st chapter is titled,"A virtuous woman". You can read it here.
         2. Jesus, who loved His mother: John 19:26,27
         Jesus, who protected the prostitute sinner: John 8:11
         Jesus, who accepted the lowly worshiper :Luke 7:48
         Jesus, who cared for the resurrected man's sisters: John 11:5

[This article is written for http://knowyourstar.com/rape/ , official page for launch of Dwar- Door for Transformation! Visit the page for the complete story and other wonderful articles! Join the Movement]

A sneak-peak into what you will find at 'KnowYourStar':

Home is where the heart is..

P.S.: If you're reading this post, it is safe to believe that the world has not ended yet and that the Mayans just got trolled or rather, the Mayans just trolled you. Now, this means life goes on as usual, you have to continue sweating it out, loving inside out and give that anti-rape shout, and continue to live in doubt and die in doubt too, perhaps!

Just a few questions that crept in as I kept thinking about the end of the world..

What happens when the world ends? Where will I go? What will I do? 

Now, that the Mayans go terribly wrong with these predictions, I prefer going to the Bible that has been so far right with its predictions.  In fact, it predicts this about the end of the world... 

"For you know quite well that the day of the Lord's return will come unexpectedly, like a thief in the night." (1 Thessalonians 5:2)

Currently, Mayans-0, God-1.

The Bible says my world will end when He returns or calls me Home.

What will happen then? 

Let's assume I go to Heaven(Romans 10:9-10). 

What happens when I go Home, i.e., Heaven? 

I just got back home for Christmas. I call it home because my parents are here, I can be my self here, I know where the entrance is, where the tv remote is, I know which is the light switch, I feel safe here and more importantly I believe in the rules and values that are followed in this place. I treasure the times spent at home and I am used to the practices followed in this place. My family, the disciplining, the encouragement, the protection, the relaxation and the simple, joyous feeling of being home are the treasures that I've stacked up in the place that I call home.

In the same way, if I have to make Heaven my Home, I need to know how to enter that place, I need to believe in the practices of that place, get used to them and treasure the values of that place.

The Bible tells me that there's going to be some singing happening(Revelation 5:9-13). Even if I am a bad singer, I will have to sing praises unto God and so I better get practicing everyday.

There'll be no weeping, mourning or pain in Heaven(Revelation 21:4). Now, that means I need to stop every act of mine that is hurting or causing pain to somebody out here on Earth.

Jesus is going to be the host and He will be out there waiting to receive me. So, unless I know Him personally, He sure is going to have a tough time in welcoming me and that will be quite an awkward situation to be in. I better start getting on my knees a lot more from now.

Now, depending on where I want to go from Earth, I can align my heart to focus on what I want to believe in and in turn, convert them into actions.

Because truly, 

Home is where the heart is. Heart is where the treasure is.

What if the world ends today?

Where's my treasure? Where's yours?

Diversity: Inclusion inspires innovation

This was a poem that I wrote for a competition in my company on the given topic: 
"Diversity- Inclusion inspires innovation" held during Diversity Week that was celebrated last week.

What is diversity? It is like...
The sun and the Earth, the moon and the stars,
The galaxies which include our Jupiter and Mars;
These celestial bodies that have no heavenly war,
Beautify the night sky, obeying their One vicar

What is diversity? It is like...
The thunder and the lightening,
Raindrops when the sun is shining,
And the rainbow in the sky following,
Those seven vibrant colors, to the eyes pleasing.

What is diversity? It is like...
A pleasant song produced in the studio,
Whose creation is inspired by a maestro,
Who sometimes flips the words with his piccolo,
And at other times changes the tempo.

What is diversity? It is like...
The vegetable curry cooked on the stove,
Where an assortment of vegetables fight and shove,
For the essence of pepper and salt and clove,
An exclusive dish for lunch, brought to the dining alcove.

What is diversity? It is like...
The sperm that has no power on its own,
But together with the ovum sown,
Births a little baby unknown,
One-of-a-kind, innovation by the Master renown.

Language, caste, religion and one's own identity,
Chip in to establish this multi-faceted humanity;
Thence, you and I are no small commodity,
Congeniality and sociability is our responsibility.

If diversity is the seed of innovation,
Then hail SAP for taking a step in the right direction,
For its freshers' and scholars' recruitment initiation,
And the women's drive that is its very own institution.

We are like the five fingers of our SAP workplace,
Making the world run better, thanks to our populace;
Because diversity is a thought we embrace,
Innovation is our destination that needs no preface.


P.S: First attempt ever at poetry. Suggestions welcome.
P.P.S: Won third place for this verse form! 

Corporate Social Responsibility: A reality check!

On the last day of our induction program, dated 30th June, 2012, we, the first batch of campus recruits (we also call ourselves the SAP Kickers) accompanied by two members of the CSR team visited OmAshram, a home for the elderly. Initially, it was difficult to discern how we would interact with the people there as none of us in the batch knew Kannada. However, the words 'Ajja' and 'Ajji' (Thank you Google Translate!) complementing a cheerful ‘namaste’ did the trick and brought a smile on their wrinkled faces.

We had the opportunity to spend a day with people in the age group of 65 to 95, healthy and sick, educated and illiterate, natives and multi-lingual. We heard stories from one Ajji who was alive during Nehruji's ‘Tryst with destiny’ speech and how she is still a member of a library. She was 91 years old and had almost traveled to all corners of India. One Ajji refused to speak to us in English although she knew the language because Hindi was the national language and she kept recollecting ‘Vijay vishwa thiranga pyara’. There was another Ajji who did palm reading for a friend and also advised another friend not to wear huge ear-rings like the ones she was wearing that day. We were advised on how to save our money and when to get married too!

Amidst all the fun and excitement, we also had a reality check on the sorry state of the elderly around us. We heard stories of people whose children were living in Bangalore and yet they ended up being in OmAshram. But they never complained. They still think high of their children and respect their views on busy lives. One of the Ajjis shared with us her story of how she was merely being treated as a migration package and had to move into her three kids' homes on a quarterly basis. She desired to be in a permanent place and not see her kids fight for their privacy. There was one Ajji who just lied down and kept staring at us. Upon enquiry, one of the caretakers told us that her family crushed her food pipe and suffocated her. It is baffling to think that one could suffocate one's own parent who once nurtured you. We also had an opportunity to talk to an Ajja who had voluntarily run out of the house because he was being kept in the house for the sake of social dignity. One of the most touching stories was of an Ajji who had come to OmAshram like any other elderly person but upon looking at the plight of the other senior citizens and considering herself to be comparatively physically fit (mentally and emotionally, we doubt!), she decided to take care of the ailing elderly and earn a small living for herself.

They all consider each other their friends, siblings and family. Their gladdened faces as we shared lunch with them and the tears that rolled down their eyes as we left the place by early evening made a friend question if it was better to die young than to die old and abandoned.

Amidst all these stories, I am left wondering who is wrong. Are we, the younger generation getting more ambitious, selfish and loveless? Are the elderly demanding and expecting more from us? Or is it that the very existence of old age homes giving us a reason good enough to support both my above queries?

Shakespeare rightly describes this age in 'All the world's a stage' where he says,

“..Last scene of all,

That ends this strange eventful history,

Is second childishness and mere oblivion,

Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.”

We often forget that our elderly are in the stage of second childishness minus the innocence and probably the cuteness of a child. But looks like the remaining part of the poem very much holds true in today's scenario. They are in a state of mere oblivion and most certainly, sans everything. Yes, they drop food. Yes, they complain. Yes, they maybe irritating at times. But if we have had a good childhood, our parents definitely deserve an even better second childhood.

Truly, the less privileged elderly need our love and care. That’s our little contribution to make their world healthier and happier. And our initial apprehension on how we would communicate with them melted away in a flash as we discovered that language is never a barrier but our attitude is. Thank you CSR team for giving us this platform to learn a valuable lesson and instilling in us the 'joy of giving.’

Lessons I Stumbled Upon In College

Four years. College life has finally come to an end. I don't know yet if I will miss college life but these four years would definitely make a vital chapter in my life's ledger for everything it taught me.

Here's some of what I learnt:

1. When I entered college, I wondered how everyone would be graded. The reason being, my classmates were state rank holders, district rank holders, centum getters and school toppers. And there were very few like me who belonged to the elite gang of not falling into any of these categories and yet, managed to find a place in this college. ;) I thought that everybody who joined this college had big dreams of becoming great engineers. Exceptions are always there. But during these four years, I've learnt how aspiring doctors have ended up in my college because they missed a medical seat, how aspiring artists and writers ended up here because their parents wouldn't let them take up another course and there were others like me who took up the course because we didn't know what we wanted to do with life! As we all graduate, I realize that not all of us came out with GPAs like the rest and not all of us would make great engineers. Most of us are engineers today because we can, and not because we want to. But one thing is for sure. Each one of us had that one unique quality which defined us. Some were specialized in their smile, some in their walks while some in their talks. Some knew how to talk to computers while there were others who knew how to talk to people. Some would make great cooks while a few knew to cook up great stories.

I learnt that nobody can beat me in being me. Identifying my calling and acting upon it should be my priority.(Ephesians 4:1) By failing to realize my talent and my area of specialization, I will be depriving this world of a gift(Like Jeff Goins says) and I wouldn't want to do that. Neither should you.

2. At the end of sem1, when we got our results, a few of my friends had a shocker. They had just got an arrear. And I told you how they were all centum holders and school toppers. I still don't know how I would have reacted if I had got an arrear. But in the language that administrations best understand or in other words, call it re-evaluation, they did clear that paper. They all came in with big dreams. Forget big dreams, they definitely wouldn't have planned an arrear for their first semester amidst all the other adventurous activities! Some of them managed to get out of their shell, shake off that bad day and make it big at the end of four years while the others were satisfied with their life in the cocoon and continued to believe that they were average students.

I learnt that most often, life just does not go the way we plan it. In fact, it loves to throw in those thrills and staring down the valley experiences once in a while. The best we can do is preparing for the worst and keep moving forward when things fall apart.

3. I usually am never early to college but there are these rare occasions when I end up being super early to college. Like, entering college at 8.45 for a 10.30 class, thanks to the teacher who decides to cancel an 8.30 class after I leave home! In such cases, I just get into random conversations with my classmates or anybody who is sitting outside our lhc(where we have our lectures) and decide to listen to their stories. Each time, I have been surprised at how that person was just waiting to find a person who would listen to their story. And what has hit me hard is how what I call the problems of my life are nothing compared to what they pour out. I remember a girl telling me about how nobody in her house spoke to her because she hadn't found a job yet through her on-campus placements. There was enough pressure on her to perform because her four years would decide if her parents would let her siblings study further. This was one among the latest tragic stories that I got to listen to.

I learnt that every person around me is carrying his/her own share of problems. Getting upset over petty issues as if the weight of the world is upon me is foolishness. The little I can do is spread some cheer around in this otherwise torn world. Oh! And once in a while, be the listener whom someone can trust.

4. The last few days in college was spent on writing slam books. You write. I write. Everybody write write. Friends wrote for me. I wrote for them. As I read some of the things that my friends had written, I was amazed at how people remembered the smallest of the moments we had shared together. I realized that among all the moments that we've shared with others, we tend to remember those moments that mattered to us more, not those that mattered to the other person more.

I learnt that the world is watching me. I am responsible for my words and actions. Even before I realize, there is a world that has judged me and assigned a price tag for me, be it good or bad. Although, I cannot please everyone I meet, the impression I make on somebody's life does matter. If not to me, to them atleast.

I don't know if I'll remember what I learnt sitting on those dusty desks or those AC labs but I sure want to remember these lessons for life.

The women I see

Lately, I've been traveling to college by train in the ladies compartment. I probably enjoy it more than the bus journeys but for the heat. I get to observe women from various backgrounds everyday and sometimes get into a conversation with some of them. I see working women, college girls, school girls and sometimes women in heavy pattu sarees, maybe going for some function. Each one of them is different.

Every morning, I see future women employees of Microsoft, PayPal, Polaris, Aricent, Deloitte and other big companies around me. And then, there is this girl who has just got an admit from a top university in the U.S. I sometimes wonder if my co-passengers even know that these girls will be paid just as much as the guys are. The world looks at her as the funky girl with cool phones and cooler sense of dressing. I am not going to tell you more about her 'cos we find her quite a lot these days. Everywhere. Everyday. Maybe, she is your friend, your sister or maybe it is you! I leave it at that.

Despite all the talks of how women are competing with men today, trying to be their equal, the feminine in her hasn't left her yet. It never will. There is this woman who gets onto the train, grabs a seat next to the window, dries her hair and tries to make herself look presentable. I didn't like her concept of using the train as her second home until I saw her colleague get into the train at the next station and they both got into a conversation. I got to know that this woman got up at 5 a.m that morning, made coffee, breakfast, lunch, did the household cores, got her kids ready and had managed to catch the 8 o'clock train to work.  She was working because the family could not be run on her husband's income. She had to help without compromising on her duties. She didn't complain, though. I stopped judging people in train after this eye-opener. At the next stop, I saw this woman rush in along with her two kids. She had to drop them at school and then get back. There was only seat available. She made her kids sit and she fed them there. There was this other woman who got in, looking tired and exhausted. She didn't have a place to sit. She sat down near the door and dozed off. I assumed she was tired after all her house work and then was coming to work for her employer. When the man in the first class compartment takes out a newspaper to read, I see a woman here reading her Bible and saying a silent word of prayer. Maybe, she is praying for her children or her parents or her dear friend. Maybe, she is praying for herself, asking God to help her survive the day. Sometimes, the trains are over-crowded. These women cannot afford to miss this train because waiting for the next one meant not being on time to their work place. Coming early was not possible as the household responsibilities could not be given a miss. In the evenings, I see tired women sitting silently having a bag of vegetables that they have bought on the way back, wondering what to cook for dinner.

Maybe, these women are not CEOs or scientists. They are not business-minded, yet they are industrious. They are not chasing their dreams but are chasing the dreams of their families. I am left to wonder, what is this sudden super power that has creeped into this woman of this 21st century that she is able to balance both her worlds. She is still the weaker of the two genders physically, mentally and emotionally. Yet, it is she who carries the next generation in her womb and it is she who takes a day off from her work when her baby girl is sick. 

There are some things which only she can do and the rest, she 'also' can do.

To the woman who is living to chase her dreams, to the woman who puts her family before her dreams, to the woman who is raising up another generation full of dreams, to that woman, we all salute. She is making a difference.

There is, however a dark side to this woman that is heart-breaking. There are an estimated 27 million slaves in the world today, trafficked and beaten—more than any other time in history. Approximately 80 percent of human trafficking victims are women and girls, and up to 50 percent are minors. If you want to do something on this Woman's day, other than updating a "Happy Woman's Day" status on facebook and twitter, stand up against this evil curse called human trafficking where this woman who has the ability to give this world so much has lost much, her voice and her dreams.

What the Sydney Test taught me about "NEW" years...

India lost the first test match of the four match series against Australia at Melbourne in December 2011. As an ardent Indian cricket fan, I told myself, "Chalo! A bad year is over. India will bounce back in 2012. Sydney test awaits.." and so did all of you. Okay, most of you! Came January 3rd, I got up early in the morning because it was a new year and according to me, Indians were going to come hard at the Aussies. Even before I stepped out of my house to go to college, half the team was back in the dressing room. And I hear experts say that the batsmen made the same mistakes and did not learn from the previous test match, etc. 

My 2011 was probably not my best year either, But I told myself that 2012 was going to be better because it was a "new" year. In fact, I was glad that my 7th semester results were out by the end of 2011 which, according to me marked the culmination of my 2011 misery.

P.S: I don't mean that 2011 was a bad year just because of academics. In fact, I scaled the highest peak yet in academics during this year only. Getting a job is a big deal!

I'm sure that even you told yourself that 2012 will be a better year for you because it is a "new" year and you buried all your wounds of the previous year.

But this Sydney test has taught me that

a "new year" need not necessarily mean a new beginning for us if we decide not to change our old ways. 

My Bible tells me : (Luke 5:36-39)

Simply put, we cannot enter the "new" year along with our old habits if we want our year to be better. January 1 has no jee-boom-ba attached to it that it will magically make your year pleasant and successful.

Unless the Indian bowlers stop bowling wayward lengths and the batsmen stop playing irresponsible shots, their 2012 cannot be great all of a sudden. Unless I decide to leave my old ways behind and take some new decisions, my 2012 will not be groovy either! Unless you decide to let go off things that gave you a hard time in 2011, your year will not be any better!

So, what are the old ways that you are deciding to let go off? Shake it off and have a cracking year ahead!